Thursday, June 12, 2008

DETROIT ELECTRONIC MUSIC FESTIVAL 2008

Movement: DEMF 2008? Awesome.
For all the haters who said this festival was better 5 years ago or whatever: You're probably right, you bastards.
Whatever. Nothing is perfect.
Nevertheless, spending a few days in the hollowed downtown of Detroit--the city which inspired some talented and ambitious black kids from the suburbs to create a hybrid of Chicago house and Kraftwerk--is about as close to a 'perfect' vacation as I can possibly experience.

Did some things really suck? Fuck yeah. Here's a list :
  • Jimmy John's didn't accept my 'Free Sub' coupon.
  • Police-cops enforced U.S. narcotics laws. (Always bullshit.) I can't believe people still get arrested for smoking grass. Are you kidding me? That's way less dangerous than that drunken idiot over there...
  • The M_nus Records afterhours ticket was nearly as expensive as the DEMF Weekend Pass. Yes, Hawtin's set was reliably good, but he sounded just like he did last time I saw him. I don't plan on going to the M_nus afterhours next year; these days I need to hear djs who take more risks musically instead of obsessing over new technologies that don't enhance the audience's exprience. And I want to hear djs who play real vinyl records. You know: environmentally-unfriendly plastic discs that have energy and some surface noise. (Personality goes a long way with me.)
  • I bought a crap dime bag. Joe Drug Dealer's blunt was great, but he pulled the ol' let-him-smoke-my-personal-stash-so-i-can-sell-him-the-shit trick on me. Asshole. And yeah, I know it's my fault for buying drugs from a stranger at a fucking techno festival, okay? I know.
  • The Beretta Grey afterhours party...Fuck, where do I begin...? First, we get there at least a half hour before 1 a.m. (at which point the price of entry is only $5.) However, the line isn't moving at all. Not a fucking inch. Then, magically, as 1 a.m. comes around, Mr. Venue Employee comes out to inform everyone in line that the entry price has gone up from $5 to $15. And...oh look! The line suddenly starts to advance and it takes us less than five fucking minutes to get inside and give them ten extra dollars. The RIGHT (ie: ethical) way to have done this would have been to cut the line at 1 a.m. Everyone already waiting in line pays $5. Everyone thereafter pays $15. Beretta Grey: You owe me ten bucks. Wait, I'm not done yet. Then after being inside for a while, enjoying the kids playing their laptops in the backroom, digitally train-wrecking a couple times, I make my way back to the front room to see the man who brought me to that afterhours: MARKO FUCKING FURSTENBERG. Amazingly talented artist. But the sound system kept cutting out. $15 cover. Waiting until 4 a.m. for my man. And the bulk of the sound system isn't even working for more than half his set. Un-fucking-believable. But did I throw a tantrum and bitch? Hell no. I stood right in front of him and listened to his magic through the monitors he was using. That's how fucking hardcore I am. (I know it's not cool to call oneself "hardcore" but if you know me you'd understand. You would understand that you are so much less hardcore than I am.)
  • I dropped $30 on the ground. Probably lost it to one of those beast girls. Ouch! Thirty bucks is 6 used records, 4 new domestic records, or 2 import records from Juno.uk. AND I FUCKING LOST MY GODDAMN FESTIVAL T-SHIRT THAT I PAID FOR. FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!
  • DEMF is getting LESS Detroit every year. Other than Carl Craig on the main stage, there wasn't any real focus given to Detroit artists.


But there was great stuff too:
  • The Real Detroit stage was incredible. And given the acoustic space--all concrete walls, floor, and ceiling (highway overhead)--it was the best sound system. It was right next to the bathroom, and every time I went to take a piss or fill my water bottle, I was drawn to the Detroit sound. Didn't matter if it was bangin' techno, ghetto tech, or soulful house, all of it sounded so fucking good in that space. Hey, all of you who didn't bother to go down into that concrete pit and experience real Detroit: You done fucked up! Big time. It wouldn't have hurt you to pry yourself away from the Beatport stage for a half hour to broaden your funk a bit more.
  • Deepchord Live. Sure they played at like 4 p.m. and there were only a few heads there. But dealer got me high and deep dub paradise was afternoon delight.



p.s. ~ I can hardly wait to be as rich and famous as that Dubfire guy (from Deepdish) so that I too can have pretentious publicity photos taken of me. No really. I'm not kidding. (Seriously. No joke. I REALLY want pretentious publicity photos of me looking like this whole 'techno thing' is very serious. I'm serious!!! Can you not see how serious I am?) Eh. Won't happen anyway. I can't contrive accessibility. Love cannot be manufactured.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I Rock Techno

Forced Exposure still hasn't stocked Mathew Jonson's "Symphony for the Apocalypse" so i gave in, paid the couple extra bucks, and got it from dancerecords dot com instead. I played it three times already tonight. I wish the middle section didn't get so "Return of the Zombie Bikers" but it's still an excellent track. I mentioned this in a previous post, after listening to the mpfree, but now that I own the vinyl I'm very satisfied. Sounds so much better.

I recently set aside some time to throw a mix together. I don't plan this shit. I basically pick out the first couple tracks, the last track, and then improvise everything in between. I don't like mixes that sound too planned and perfect, like they're mixed by a robot playing Ableton Live. I could give you some examples here, but I can't afford to piss anyone off yet. Not until I'm famous. Then I'll feel very free to call out all the toy djs. (And there's A LOT of them.)

Anyway, my recent mix features "Symphony for the Apocalypse" along with a couple handfuls of more dope tracks that you need to buy if you don't already own them.

Download here :
http://www.stephenganser.com/discjockey/discjockey.html